Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Appreciating Beauty

Today... Marisa and I had the privilege of viewing more wedding photos. Therein, I am reminded of all my friends whom have made my blessed life what it is today. As I re-hash the moments here and there, I am reminded of what a wicked-fine group of people I know. I guess you can say--that anyone that knows me, knows that I don't know no ugly people. Either through the projection of their charisma, their strength of character or by the sheer blessing for good geneology... the people I know have got what it takes to win your heart.

We can take all day with a line up of all of you. I don't know how, exactly, I've garnered such a strictly fine dugout of hotties. For the sake of introspection, I'm going to take you on a quick trip to my id to explore a few bona fide reasons:

--I have chased around many a hot female and got lumped into the "friend zone" a thousand times--and they stuck around.

--That attractive people generally draw more people towards them. They, in turn, decide the people THEY want to surround themselves with... the SAFE ones.

--Perhaps I am a sexy mother trucker designed to break hearts and take lives... like they told me when I was in boot camp. Though, thats an awful lot like your mom telling you that you're pretty.

Surely, anyone that has spent any time with me (that includes you, Grandma) has seen me point out an attractive person, oogled a beautiful female--or straight out say some pig-headed trash. You can call it "flirty", but really, its nothing but a very safe and mysoginistic way of appreciating someone. Hello. I AM BLESSED. Risen from the ashes like a hobbit-phoenix, I have found my soul mate in the most attractive, special and worthy woman alive-- my wife, Marisa. If she got in an "attraction boxing match" with anyone.... she would win. Hands down--if there is a God... She looks like Marisa. Physically. Shut the front door. Anti-gravity. Tone. Oh you just eat your heart out. She is as hot as you picture her. Thats my girl. Nuff said. Baseline. Just so the standard is set.

Now that was said, I would like to take some time to publicly appreciate some of the others that I know that are worthy of appreciation... and just in case this becomes a list... this is in no particular order . To those mentioned with significant others that can bench press me--I am armed.

Lets start with one of the most formidable: Mrs. Jaime Kulow
My best "man" at my wedding--we just dubbed "best chick." Jaime is so hot she could clean your oven. Talk about a woman with saavy, charisma and class? Jaime Kulow could sell ice to an eskimo while its melting in the heat. If she's not your best friend then you took a wrong turn. I didn't even know a woman so eligible to win any contest on the planet would think so much of me. Ver flattering. She thinks I am the shit so "neener neener." Hands off, though, boys. Her husband can kill you SO fast. This guy looks like he ATE Arnold Schwarzzeneger and shit out ME. Plus he's a teacher and the world's best wingman.

ANOTHER equally formidable seniora: Mrs. Karinna Muckey-Quizado
Karinna is so hot that I go through the Taco Bell drive through--twice. Karinna is a United States Marine. She out-ranks you. Don't be lulled by her dark curls and ruby-red lips. I've seen her tear off a man's head, shit down his neck and throw the rest to the dogs. Knowing Karinna is like Knowing you have a hot, older sister. On one had she is seductive and sultry... able and confident. On another hand she is writing your evaluation at work, writing you 6 birthday cards and don't you DARE get any ideas. Uhhh. .. sorry about that, Boss Lady.

--Fast-forwarding to today's favorites--

Two girls voted "Most likely take you out and change your religion"... Miss Erin Janke and Miss Veronica Nelson:

I have known Erin since I have met my wife. Veronica-- I have been lucky enough to meet recently. The comic book should have been called "Erin and Veronica" because Archie's lame ass couldn't drink PBR and got sent home. If I were to describe these two... well, lets do it seperate.

ERIN -- ummm, Erin has is one of the most dynamic and talented photographers that I have ever met. Her vision is unparalleled. Professional. Studied... a true craftsman. Now, overlay that onto a Jennifer Biel-meets-Ashlee Simpson-physique. I don't care who you are...

Veronica. Punk Rock boys, beware. If you get fired up by jet-black rockabilly-chick hair and elbow tattoos...you're in trouble. Veronica and I met hung over... both almost puking. We smoked cigarettes in the morning of the Kennedy School courtyard. Even though, when I met her, I was going 100mph... I was instantly comfortable. Her rolled-up black sleeves surrender an "I Love Mom" tattoo on her forearm. If you are a man that has a thing for "edgy punk rock chicks with a pretty, crooked smile" look NO further. On behalf of retired punks, skins and rude boys and hardcore kids everywhere... thank you.

Consider that entry part one... of what could be considered many parts. I am a lucky man many ways over. I believe that appreciation is due to those deserving. Tonight I raise my mug to my girls: you're the best part of me. You've made my life worth while. You've given me reason to believe my own rants. You have set an example. I am only, if but a shell of a person--that with which your grace you fill.


Ninja Of The Mundane said...

I want you to be my wingman when you move back to the Northwest. I'll buy your drinks.


Scott said...

Brother, It would be an honor and a privilage. I am a self-professed "expert wingman." Self-depricating, yet just worthy enough of your company. I'll even forget the deoderant and tell shitty jokes.

wait. thats how i got Reese.

Ninja Of The Mundane said...

Wow. Incredibly generous of you. I accept. Together, we take down Portland. Reese can be my wingbitch, too .... :)